


The Life Story of Sousuke Yamazaki

by Vip_Auren



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Episode 7, Gen, M/M, Multi, Realistic, Sad, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 05:57:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2377334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vip_Auren/pseuds/Vip_Auren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fic is a one shot from Sousuke's point of view, what he might have experienced and thought after Rin left to devote himself to swimming.<br/>If you need a timeline, it's during the 7th episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Life Story of Sousuke Yamazaki

**Author's Note:**

> Important note: I don't hate Rin this fic is just about Sousuke and what he might have thought since Rin left him for Iwatobi swimming club, and Australia.

He didn't know what happened. 

One moment everything was fine and it only took a few seconds before he was sent against the big tree behind him. Rin's face was a few inches away from him and he did his best to repress the soft cry that escaped him. The man had just made himself clear : Sousuke would have to do his best to keep swimming on his team. Which was ironically funny -or maybe the right word was pathetic?- because he couldn't swim perfectly because of the redhead. 

He still remembered this discomfort on his shoulder he used to feel during practice, but only thinking about catching up on his best friend. Best rival. His Nemesis. His everything.  
He remembered ignoring his pain and training till he collapsed on his bed. He remembered everything like it was yesterday and the worst part was having to give up on his dream. He started hating Rin who didn't send him a letter even once after going to Australia. Well he did write him a few times in the beginning but after a month his letters stopped and Sousuke had to keep on living. That was when he realized how much his selfish crybaby of a friend meant to him. 

That's when he thought of hating him. However, once he realized his dream was unrealistic it didn't make any sense. Nothing made any sense after that. He had devoted himself to swimming and especially competing against Rin. For years, that was the only thing that motivated him. Thus having the doctors and therapists explaining to him everything was over but that he could still find another 'hobby' didn't help at all. Truth be told, he had the feeling that his life was the only thing that was over. After all swimming was his life and if it had to end, then so did his life. It didn't have any purpose...  
« Not every dream came true ». He knew that already... But he didn't think it would come with such a high prize. Feeling the sharp pain at every moment of his life was the final straw. And damn, though he hated water metaphors, it felt like drowning. 

Then he heard about Rin being back and it was like feeling his heart being crushed because the idiot didn't even tell him. But he wanted to see him swim again, so he put this feeling behind and focused on his hope of seeing his best friend. Surely the redhead was a perfect swimmer and would win the race and the prize. And the gap between them would be so wide, Sousuke would just have to accept his condition. It was okay because it was a pain he wanted to feel. Needed to feel. 

However what he saw was completely different. He saw a broken man giving up on his dream. Not because of an injury, but because he didn't want to fight anymore. And it made him mad -no furious- because it made everything he had to go through useless. Fighting for his dream, for seeing Rin again. Coping with the end of his dream, of everything it meant... His life was useless and he wanted to yell his head off. Did Rin even remember him ? Did he remember their promise ?  
He didn't think his heart would hurt him even more, but he was wrong. That's what he decided after seeing Rin smiling and laughing with the three swimmers he was replaced by... and that succeeded in helping him get his game back... It was too much for him.  
He was useless.

He finally decided that he would swim one more time because he needed closure. And the only one who could give him that was Rin. So after promising he would come back home with a diploma and no desire to keep swimming, his parents let him go. They knew he needed to set things up because giving up on swimming professionally and swimming were two different things. The first one was his dream and the latter was who he was. So he went to Samezuka and did his best to get on the swimming team without anyone noticing his pain and kept pretending everything was alright .  
For a moment he wondered...who was he trying to fool, Rin or himself ? He honestly had no idea. He wanted to swim because it was everything to him. But knowing it was the last time he would be able to do that changed his feelings toward the water and his passion...it turned everything into a torture. The agonizing pain was not only physical, but psychological. He could feel ties trying to keep him under water, his arms refusing to move. He could feel Rin's worried face and everyone's suspicion.

That's when he decided to pretend harder. He went to rehab and did his best, fighting his disgust toward the thing that was slowly torturing him. Water.  
Seeing people that loved water and swimming made him want to throw up. And not only did Haru help Rin and was a good swimmer, but he was also Rin's injured shoulder. He was his ball and chain that kept him from swimming professionally. Not only was he more important to the redhead than him, but he was also preventing Rin from accomplishing his dream. Whereas Sousuke fought every nerve on his body telling him to give up for his rival's well being.

His doctor told him that swimming and training could wreak havoc to his shoulder. Even more than it already had. But he kept going because it would raise suspicion and also because he wanted to be here. He wanted to spend every last minutes his body allowed him to have next to Rin. He felt like he should because he knew now what could happen. And he would do everything in his power to avoid Rin living the same nightmare he was in. 

He became paranoïd. Always looking at Rin, making sure he didn't overdo. It was hard on his shoulder -even more than what he used to make it go through. But he didn't care because he was already over. His best friend was what mattered the most and he did his best to practice next to him, in order to check and even monitor his physical condition. He made sure Rin could live his dream because his would be nothing more than what it used to be. A dream. But Rin's was different, he could actually make it real and that was why it even became his own dream. Seeing Rin succeed. 

This is when he realized his life didn't matter, his being neither. When pushed against the tree, putting up with the pain on his shoulder and Rin's words... Nothing mattered except Rin.  
And he was okay with that because it meant that he could escape his condition. He could except the nightmare his life had become. 

And that was the reason why he was thankful to Rin.  
His rival.  
His best friend.  
His Nemesis.  
His everything.


End file.
